


Unforgivable

by byyoursidee



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Caring Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Enchanted Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23683960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byyoursidee/pseuds/byyoursidee
Summary: Arthur has always done his best to protect his manservant from anything or anyone who tries to hurt him. Only this time, it is Arthur that the boy needs protecting from.“Who did this to you?” Arthur growled.Nothing could have prepared him for the response he received.“You did.”- In which an enchanted Arthur hurts Merlin and is horrified when the spell is broken.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 63
Kudos: 940





	1. Maybe he's concussed?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi fellow Merlin lovers! I hope you are all well. I was very deeply in the Merlin fandom for years and years and then life started to happen as I grew older. But, with the quarantine, I took sometime to rewatch the whole show and I have fallen into the Merlin rabbit-hole again, specifically Arthur and Merlin's relationship, and my weakness for Protective!Arthur. I hope you enjoy my story - this will be the first chapter of three.

The King’s hunting trip had been going surprisingly well, by their usual standards at least. Of course, there were the occasional bandits (why must there always be bandits?), along with the occasional branch fall (the Gods above were definitely looking over him), and Merlin scaring off the main prey they came upon (why did he always take Merlin on these trips?), but there had been no serious injury and had even managed to catch a few rabbits and pheasants.

Which is why he really should not have been surprised that something came along to ruin it, he thought to himself. The day was definitely going just a little bit more smoothly than the young king could have hoped for.

Merlin had been chattering away like usual, the typical nonsense that Arthur would never admit to the man’s face that he actually enjoyed hearing. He knew deep down that this explained why he insisted on Merlin coming on these trips. To be fair, there was not much arm-twisting on his part; for someone who hated hunting, Merlin always seemed a little too keen to accompany him.

It was then that Arthur distinctly heard the terrified scream of a woman. It always boiled his blood when he heard this in the forest. More often than not, it was a person inflicting this fear on an innocent person, rather than an animal. It irritated Arthur greatly when they came upon bandits and had to fight them off, mostly due to it being a mild intrusion on their day, but when it was defenseless people being attacked, his own subjects, it infuriated him. Such cowards!

  
Arthur shared a quick look with Merlin before they both ran in the direction of the scream. Another thing Arthur would not want to admit to the man was that he appreciated how much they could convey with just a look. It had been ten years since the men had first met and they were now totally in sync with each other’s thoughts and actions. Merlin knew Arthur better than he knew himself it appeared sometimes; he was always just a small step ahead of Arthur’s thought process. This thus explained why Merlin was now leading the way.

Arthur instinctively pulled Merlin back behind him when they reached a group of bushes to hide behind. If this was going to be something dangerous, he did not want Merlin to find out about it first. Arthur peeked over, but to his surprise, there were no bandits, nor any wild animals. It was just a young woman alone in the clearing who looked fearful, while bruised and bloodied.

Arthur slowly approached her with his arm reaching out in front of him protectively.

“It’s alright – you’re safe. We won’t hurt you. Are you alright?”

“Oh, I’m so happy to see you! I thought he was going to kill me! Please help me.”

“I will. I won’t let anyone hurt you. What happened?” Arthur asked gently. 

The poor woman was clearly terrified.

“I was just trying to pick some flowers for my mistress and a man tried to attack me. Please help me”, she repeated.

“Of course, I will. My name is Arthur Pendragon and I can guarantee you will be safe from harm now. What is your name?”

“You’re the king? Oh, my lord, forgive me”, the woman said, curtseying.

“There is no need for that”, Arthur said kindly.

“What’s your name?” he repeated.

Straightaway the fear seemed to disappear from the young woman’s face, changing into a mocking smile.

“My name is Evelina. And you have done me a grievous wrong, Arthur Pendragon, as you have all my kind.”

Arthur stopped in his track’s straightaway. He knew what this type of language normally signaled.

Merlin did too apparently as he seemed to take a protective step forward, stopping just in front of the King.

Arthur almost rolled his eyes at this – Merlin was always thinking it was his duty to protect Arthur, even when it came to sorcerers who sought to personally harm the king. He did not seem to realize that it was Arthur in fact who had the responsibility of protecting Merlin, not the other way round.

 _“Avolare”_ , the woman shouted, while her clear blue eyes which matched the King’s himself turned the familiar dreaded golden, thrusting her arm forward. With it, to Arthur’s horror, Merlin was sprung from where he stood and thrown, landing with a large crash as Merlin lost consciousness against the ground.

“Merlin!” Arthur screamed, angrily drawing his sword, and pointing it in the direction of the witch.

“What do you want?” he asked, his voice ice cold.

“Emrys has protected you for far too long, Arthur Pendragon. You will put an end to that.”

“Emrys?” Arthur asked, confused. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”.

“I suppose you don’t”, the witch cruelly laughed, before also sending Arthur flying backward with a single word.

" _Nocere eum_ ”, the witch started, walking towards Arthur’s body on the ground.

When she was finished with her enchantment, Evelina quickly mounted her horse and spoke away her false wounds.

She smiled at herself. No matter who tried, Emrys could not be defeated. He always bested them.

But the man could not protect himself now without hurting his beloved King. She laughed once more before disappearing into the trees.  
\---------------------------------------------------  
Merlin’s eyes flickered open and he groaned. His head was thumping with pain. Merlin was trying to remember what had just happened when he noticed Arthur’s limp body lying on the ground near him.

"Arthur!”

Merlin ran to his king and shook him desperately. It was then that everything came back to him; the woman screaming, the realization they were talking to a sorceress, then, blackness.

Thankfully, it was not long before Arthur’s eyes, too, opened.

“What the hell?” Arthur asked, grumpily, sitting up a little.

“You alright?” Merlin asked his friend, reaching an arm out to help his friend to his feet.

To his astonishment, Arthur slapped the helping hand away.

“What makes you think you can touch me?” was the angry response that Merlin was met with.

Merlin went pale. He was knocked out before Arthur and had no idea what had happened. Did Arthur know about his magic somehow? Where had the sorceress gone? Why would she simply knock them out and leave when they were completely at her mercy?

This didn’t make sense.

“Arthur-”, Merlin began, but he was soon stopped by Arthur’s look of fury.

“You address me as Your Majesty or My Lord and nothing else. Who do you think you are? I have had enough of your insubordination Merlin. And you better have a good reason why I’m on the cold ground in the middle of nowhere”.

Now Merlin was seriously confused.

“I think you may have a concussion, my lord”, Merlin said cautiously. “We should go back to Camelot and see Gaius”.Arthur started grumbling about useless servants under his breath, but far more unkindly than Merlin had ever heard him say before, not at all humorous.

What the hell is going on? Merlin thought to himself. What did that woman want?

The two set back for their horses and Camelot, Merlin hoping Gaius could treat Arthur’s head injury and sudden change of personality the whole way back.  
He felt seriously uneasy about the sorceress they had encountered, but that would have to wait for now.

First, Merlin wanted to fix his friend.

However, Merlin had no idea that his friend could not be so easily fixed…


	2. Hello darkness, my old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated this embarrassingly fast, but hey, let's be real, what else is there to do in self-isolation? Thank you to everyone who had liked and commented on my story so far and I hope you enjoy this next addition!

Arthur’s mood did not improve the whole journey back to Camelot.

Merlin was rummaging through his brains with the hope of coming up with an answer for Arthur’s treatment of him but to little avail. Maybe he was just in a bad mood because he met a sorcerer? Yet another one who wished to do him harm…

Merlin sighed. Arthur’s attitude to magic would never change so long as people kept using magic to try to harm him. Pushing aside his self-pity for a minute, Merlin realized this made little sense. Arthur hadn’t even remembered what had happened. So maybe his suggestion of concussion was correct? But what was with the complete change of personality? Perhaps he was just frustrated about not remembering?

Still, Arthur never spoke to him like that, especially not seriously. Merlin’s mind swirled with questions but was promptly snapped out of it by Arthur’s harsh tone.

“You know Merlin, I’ve been thinking. It’s unacceptable the way you behave the majority of the time and I want that to change. From the moment we step into Camelot.” “

"Sire?”

“That’s a start. You don’t treat me with the respect I deserve and that will change.”

“Arthur, are you just fooling around with me?” Merlin asked, only a little bit pleadingly.

“Excuse me?!” The reply came thundering back.

“I do NOT ‘fool’ around with servants, especially not the likes of you.”

Merlin bit his tongue. He was angry and hurt at being talked to this way by the man he considered his best friend, but it was precisely because this was his best friend that he did not answer back. 

He knew something was up. Arthur may still be a prat sometimes, but he wouldn’t speak to Merlin like this, they had been through way too much together. Hell, Arthur would not speak to anyone like this. The sorcerer must have done something.

He had to talk to Gaius. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I see no signs of concussion, Sire. You may have a headache for a couple of days but apart from that, no harm has been done. You were lucky.” 

“Thank you, Gaius,”, Arthur said warmly. “You have always been a great help to me. I wish I could say the same for Merlin”.

“Indeed”, the physician replied awkwardly, looking a little unsure of the tone in which the joke was carried.

“I shall let you get on with your work Gaius. And Merlin, I’ll see you in the evening in my chambers. Do not forget what we discussed earlier.”

With a smile to Gaius and a very sharp, contrasting glare to Merlin, Arthur left.

“Oh great, it’s just me he can’t stand then,” Merlin sighed.

“So, I take it this was no ordinary fall from a horse, Merlin?” the old man inquired. 

“He didn’t fall from a horse. I just said that because he doesn’t remember what happened and in the mood that he is in, I didn’t want to tell him what really did happen.”

“Which is?”

Merlin explained everything to his mentor and father figure, the familiar sense of hurt creeping back in.

"My first thought was the sorceress enchanted him, so he wasn’t Arthur anymore, but it seems it's just me he hates. What if I am the one who does not know what truly happened, Gaius?”

“That doesn’t mean he has not been enchanted, Merlin. I fear some of Arthur’s enemies know of your value to Arthur, and in turn, his to you. This wouldn’t be the first time magic has been used to turn one of you against the other – at least it doesn’t seem that Arthur will be trying to assassinate you.”

Merlin cringed at the memory of discovering he had almost killed Arthur under Morgana’s control. He would never have forgiven himself if he had harmed his friend.

He realized Gaius, as usual, was right. 

“But what’s the point of making him simply be cruel to me?”

“Maybe they think you eventually turn against him; you are the most loyal person to Arthur so it would surely be a huge loss.”

“As if I would be that easy," Merlin scoffed.

“Either way, you need to fix this, Merlin. Even if this is just cruel words, you won’t be much help to the king if he hates the sight of you.”

“Thanks, Gaius” Merlin replied, only with a little bit of sarcasm. He knew this was true, but the thought upset him. Maybe for once, the magic was not life-threatening but he couldn’t bear the idea of Arthur hating him. And Gaius was right, he could not protect Arthur as he did by being fired.

“So how do I break it?”

“I don’t know, Merlin. I’ll do some research – in the meantime, you should go to Arthur, keep yourself on his good side. Just do everything he says.”

“So, be everything I'm not?”

“Exactly.”

\---------------------------

“Enter!”

Needing to knock on Arthur’s chambers was a foreign concept to Merlin; he was so used to coming and going as he pleased. Arthur often joked about him not knowing how to knock and about him always being there, but Merlin was sure Arthur would have told him if he really had an issue with it. But for some reason, Merlin heavily suspected that this version of Arthur would have.

“I have brought you your dinner, my lord.” Merlin had to practically force the words out of his throat. It’s not as if he had never uttered these words before, whether it be other nobles he temporarily had to serve, or Arthur himself, but it was never quite as forcefully respectful and dull with Arthur as it was now.

“About time”, Arthur grunted, “I’ve been waiting”.

Merlin had brought him the food at the exact same time he normally did. It appeared he couldn’t do anything right.

“I am sorry, my lord.” Merlin had only been doing this a few seconds and he already hated it with every fiber of his being. He knew it wasn’t Arthur’s fault though, and he had to keep playing the part of the bootlicker for his sake if nothing else.

“Tell me something, Merlin.” Merlin was quite surprised at the pang of pain he felt at the way his name was said. He was sure that anybody hearing their name said with such distaste would be a little hurt, but it coming from Arthur made it a double blow.

“Yes, my lord?”

“Why were you ever hired in the first place? It appears you are a bit useless.”

Normally, Merlin would have given a snappy retort back, something about him being needed to save Arthur from his own stupidity, or a joke about his high social standing being deemed good enough for the prince, but again, he bit his tongue. Somehow, he did not think this would be appreciated.

Instead, he kept it simple. “I saved your life, Sire. At the banquet. Your father rewarded me by giving me a position in the royal household.” “

Very manipulative of you, don’t you think?”

“My Lord?”

“You don’t have any loyalty in you whatsoever. I bet you did it to serve your own purposes. Wouldn’t surprise me if you conspired in it. Actually, it would. You’re too much of an idiot.”

Unfortunately for Merlin, third time lucky didn’t quite work out for him, and he could no longer bite down his tongue.

“I’m not an idiot.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I’m not an idiot.”

Merlin could not help himself. He sometimes felt crushed under his own destiny and playing the role of an idiot half the time while receiving so much ingratitude did not help. He knew realistically this was not the real Arthur, his Arthur, talking, but this didn’t make it sting less. He didn’t want to be spoken down to like that by anyone, even in a falsity.

“How dare you speak back to your King!” Arthur roared.

Before Merlin knew what was happening, Arthur had slapped him across his face, the ring belonging to his mother crashing against his face. Merlin had not expected this in the slightest and had no time to steady himself, promptly falling to the floor. There was no remorse on Arthur’s face. His ocean blue eyes were steely and cold, and he looked down at his fallen manservant with disgust on his face.

“Get out.” 

"Arthur, this isn’t you. You have been enchanted”, Merlin pleaded, as he pulled himself up from the ground. He knew this would achieve very little in all probability, but he couldn’t break the tiny glimmer of hope that maybe deep down, Arthur could hear him.

“How dare you?! You attempt to use magic to cover your useless hide! I no longer require your assistance.”

“You don’t mean that.”

Arthur grabbed Merlin with more force than he could ever expect and slammed him into the wall behind.

“Arth-”, Merlin exclaimed in surprise but was promptly cut off.

“Do not speak to me or I will rip your throat out”, an enraged Arthur shouted, placing his hand tightly on Merlin’s throat. Merlin had been by Arthur’s side through unimaginable things, not limited to, but including seeing his own sister overthrow his throne and kingdom. So, it was really something, Merlin thought, that this was the angriest he had ever seen Arthur look. The hand did not waver. Arthur appeared so angry that he could choke Merlin to death on the spot, and this is when it occurred to him that maybe he had been enchanted to do more than just say hurtful words as first thought. Of course, that would be too easy.

He was trapped. He tried to struggle but to no effect; they both knew Arthur was far stronger than he. He couldn’t even use magic; even when, if, the spell got broken, Arthur would remember what had happened and find out his secret. Or just throw him to the pyre now in his current state of mind. Merlin tried to fight more but it was pointless. He was struggling to breathe, and dark spots were dancing around in his vision.

It was at that moment there was a knock on Arthur’s chambers. “Sire, the council requires your presence as a matter of urgency,” came the voice, one which may have just saved Merlin’s life.

Arthur finally released his grip and Merlin fell like a sack of potatoes on the ground. Without a second look at his manservant, Arthur marched out of the room.

Arthur had to be fixed and now, thought Merlin.

And then, the familiar darkness calling his name finally reached him, and he crashed out of consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up: loads of realizations and regrets...oh, the angst.


	3. Who did this to you?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have reached the chapter I was the most excited about writing! I just LOVE reading stories about protective!Arthur and my favourite line is always the enraged "Who did this to you?" Which is why I wanted to be able to use this but always do something a little different in my story :) For real though, I have read so many of these fics, I sometimes forget we never actually see Merlin being hurt by a knight or noble that Arthur finds out about... we all just collectively know how mad he would be! Thank you again to all the people who commented and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!

“Arthur attacked you?” Gaius asked, his mouth dropping.

He had grown worried when he saw Arthur without Merlin, and even more so when a length of time had passed without Merlin returning.

He had gone to look for him and almost had a heart attack when he saw the boy he saw as his son lying unconscious, covered in blood and bruises.

He had alerted the guards who had carried him back to his chambers and treated the wounds as best as he could. After what seemed like forever, Merlin had woken and explained what had happened.

“It appears this is more serious than we first suspected,” Gaius said solemnly.

“Did you find anything? About how to break the enchantment?”

“Yes. I am afraid it will not be easy though. To break the enchantment, you have to kill the person who has cast it.”

Merlin groaned. Of course. It could never just be something simple.

“Then that is what I must do.”

“Merlin, you’re in no state to take on another sorcerer. And how will you even find her?”

“I don’t have a choice, Gaius.”

His mentor knew he was right.

“Be careful, Merlin. My heart cannot take any more stress.”

Merlin shot the man a warm look and left as soon as the sun rose. He had no time to waste.

\----------------------------------------------------------

“I know you can hear me!” Merlin shouted.

He had travelled back to where this all began, only yesterday, but what seemed like a lifetime ago.

“Reveal yourself!”

“Hello, Emrys.”

“Lift the enchantment on Arthur.”

The woman smiled condescendingly as she looked Merlin up and down.

“Yes, it doesn’t appear you are having much fun with your dear King, does it?”

“What is the point of this?” Merlin demanded.

“You, Emrys, have betrayed your own kind by protecting him. He is not so different from his father.”

“Arthur could not be more different than Uther.”

“Is that so? Then tell me, why is magic still outlawed?”

She laughed again.

“I am giving you a choice here. Lift the enchantment.”

“Or what?”

Merlin sighed. He had really not wanted to do this.

He knew the woman did not expect this of him either which gave him an advantage.

But he had to protect Arthur and if the man killed him, then there would not be anyone around to do so.

 _‘Finis vitae!_ ’ he screamed, eyes changing into golden.

With a scream, the witch was gone

Now all he had to hope was Gaius was right, and he had not killed for nothing.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Merlin, my boy, you did it”.

“How do you know?”

“Arthur was brought to my chambers unconscious. The knights said he just fell to the ground. I told them it was exhaustion. But when he finally came round, he was confused and remembered nothing from before you departed on the trip. I told him he fell from his horse and had sustained a head injury. He also asked of your whereabouts.”

“What if it still isn’t gone?” Merlin asked carefully.

He didn’t want to be hurt again. He hated this feeling, of being frightened of Arthur. But he felt cautious.

“We won’t find out for sure until you go to him”, he admitted.

Merlin nodded.

“I’ll go now.”

“Be careful, Merlin.”

With that, Merlin departed for Arthur’s chambers, full of apprehension.

* * *

Arthur knew something was wrong with his friend as soon as he walked through the door. The fact he actually knocked first was a big giveaway, but it continued with Merlin’s strange behaviour.

He was actually being polite to him and in a totally serious way, it seemed. Since when had Merlin acted like a _proper_ servant? Arthur was not sure, but he did know he did not like it.

“Are you feeling alright, Merlin?” Arthur asked, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Merlin knew as well as Arthur did that, he did _not_ act like this. Not towards anyone really, but especially not to Arthur.

It only served to confuse him more that his sarcasm was answered not with a joke, but with authenticity.

“Yes, my lord. Thank you, my lord.”

Arthur frowned. The fact Merlin had had his back turned to him as soon as he walked in also did not escape his attention.

“Are you feeling all right?” Merlin said, reversing his question.

Arthur picked up on the boy’s nervousness, but he had no idea what had caused this; he also didn’t know why Merlin was refusing to look at him.

“I’m perfectly fine. Still can’t remember a thing from yesterday though.” Arthur slyly entered the topic in their conversation.

Merlin was clearly upset about something, and Arthur hadn’t remembered anything from the day before.

_He still thought it was strange he would fall off his horse like that. But the horse was spooked Gaius had told him…_

Still, he was clearly missing something.

“Merlin, come here”, he ordered.

Merlin would not even look Arthur in the eye, and he wanted to know why.

“I really must be getting on to other things, Sire. I must polish your armour and muck out your stables and-”, said Merlin, walking out of his master’s rooms with a seeming sense of urgency and his back turned.

“Merlin.” The word was stern and final.

“Look at me.”

Merlin slowly turned around and it was then Arthur saw it.

The angry red covering half of Merlin’s thin face, a fresh cut on his cheek burning brightly.

Anger started to build throughout Arthur.

“What happened to your face?” he demanded. It was not a question, but an order.

“Oh, nothing. I tripped in the forest and fell and cut my face on a rock. You know how clumsy I get. I really must be getting on Sire. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

Arthur certainly did know how clumsy Merlin was. And he may have believed him if it was not for his skittish nature and the urgency to leave Arthur’s sight, as well as trying to cover it up so much in the first place.

“Is there something that you are not telling me, Merlin? Did someone do this to you?” he asked slowly.

He feared he knew the answer, and his anger was really starting to bubble up here. Someone had hurt his friend and enough to make him on the edge, even around Arthur, almost as if he were frightened of him. The idea was preposterous. Merlin knew Arthur would never hurt him. He was getting seriously angry here.

“No, Arthur. I tripped.”

At least he was back to addressing him properly, but he was _lying_ to him. And Arthur knew Merlin, he always knew when he was lying to him.

Was he scared to tell him? Did he not think he would care? Or worse, was he so scared of someone he dared not tell? Merlin must know that I would never let anyone hurt him, he thought to himself.

Arthur took a few steps forward to better examine Merlin’s face. He was horrified when Merlin took a step back as he did so.

This made Arthur more furious than he could say. Merlin _was_ scared. He had obviously been hurt enough to flinch at any touch, even at Arthur’s. Thinking of anyone laying a hand on Merlin and making him this scared made him want to kill whoever was responsible.

Thus, he tried a different tactic.

“Merlin,” Arthur said slowly and gently. “Please.”

Addressing Merlin is such a tone shocked even he.

He had never been so soft with him, but his friend was obviously scared, and Arthur desperately wanted to find out what was happening so he could deal with it. Whoever this man was, he would not touch a hair on Merlin’s head again, he would ensure it.

For a second time, Arthur was taken aback by the strength of his own feelings and just _how_ protective he truly felt over the man.

Sure, in recent years, he had finally been able to admit to himself at least that he did care about the man, brought about by the prospect of losing him several times. But having him stand right in front of him how he was, being hurt and frightened, by something Arthur did not know about, truly enraged him. He wanted blood and for whoever did this face to look ten times worse than Merlin’s face.

Arthur tried once more to step towards Merlin, and this time, Merlin did not move.

It was as he moved closer, that he saw shades of purple and black on Merlin’s throat.

What the hell?

“Lift up your neckerchief.”

“Arth-”

“Do it.”

Merlin’s face changed a few times in a few seconds. He looked nervous, then reluctant, then something Arthur could not quite place as he realized that he had no choice but to show his master.

As Merlin followed his master’s order and removed the piece of clothing, Arthur almost vomited.

The purple and black shades covered Merlin’s throat in a way that would be out of place for even the worst of men, never mind his beloved manservant.

What then made Arthur truly lose it was the imprints in the shape of a handprint.

The men stood in silence for a few seconds, Arthur feeling his face go red, and Merlin not quite meeting Arthur’s eye.

“Who?” Arthur asked, dangerously.

“No-one, I-”

“Do not lie to me. Who did this to you?”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m fine.”

“Fine?! Someone has apparently almost choked you to death and left quite the marks on you. In no way is this fine. Merlin, you are a subject in my kingdom. It’s my responsibility to protect you.”

“I can protect myself”, Merlin replied.

“Who?” Arthur repeated.

“It really doesn’t matter.”

Arthur did not understand why Merlin was refusing to tell him. His mind raced to all possible explanations. Was he protecting someone? But how could he protect the monster who did this to him? Arthur would afford them no such luxury.

Could it be someone who Merlin cared about? Gwaine, in a drunken rage, perhaps? No. Arthur was furious, and he knew that he was not thinking straight. Gwaine would never lay a finger on Merlin, especially not this.

Whoever had done this was barbaric. And Arthur was going to kill them.

Then, Arthur thought of their conversation a few weeks earlier. Arthur had witnessed a run-in with some knights and Merlin who were not exactly treating Merlin the way he deserved.

“They were just a bit mouthy. Obviously did not understand my natural charm”, Merlin had told him at the time. But what if it was more than that?

“Was this Gregory? Because I told you to tell me if anything progressed-”

“No, Arthur.”

Yet, Arthur could not see any other explanation.

“Then let me talk to them myself”, he snarled, walking past Merlin. He was going to make him wish he had not been born for daring to touch his manservant.

“Arthur, wait! It wasn’t him; I swear.”

“Then, tell me. Who did this to you?” Arthur growled.

Nothing could have prepared him for the response he received.

“You did.”

Merlin promptly explained everything about the sorceress and enchantment, leaving out the brutal details – “And I just got on your nerves when you were under the spell I think”, he finished, trying to make an awkward attempt at humour.

Arthur finally did what he thought was going to happen from the moment he saw the bruises when Merlin was finished: he threw up.

“Arthur! It’s alright, I know it wasn’t your fault. You were under a spell. Even you’re not that much of a prat!”, Merlin exclaimed, trying yet another attempt of humour.

“I did this to you?”

“Well not really. You didn’t know what you were doing. I don’t blame you, it’s not your fault.”

“I could have killed you.”

“It would take a lot more than that to kill me! Can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Merlin, stop. Look at the state you’re in. And it’s my fault. I’m sorry. I truly am.”

“I forgive you, Arthur. I know it wasn’t you.”

“But I can’t forgive myself. I understand if you no longer wish to serve me…”

“Arthur, stop. Listen to me for once! Really, listen. This wasn’t your fault. I know you would not treat a servant like that. You wouldn’t treat me like that.”

“Merlin, I could never lay a hand on you. Not under my own will at least. Never.”

“I know that. It’s not your fault.”

Arthur still felt disgusted with himself. He knew deep down it wasn’t his fault but seeing those bruises on Merlin…and he was the one who placed them there.

And he knew his own strength. He really could have killed him.

“Merlin, I can’t forgive myself…”

“But I do. So, stop being a prat and feeling sorry for yourself”, Merlin replied warmly.

“And the woman?”

“Her magic must not have been strong enough. It only lasted temporarily”, he lied.

“And what if I had gone further? I couldn’t live with myself if-”

“No ifs. I am fine. Give me a day off and we will call it even.”

Arthur smiled sadly at his friend. So loyal, so devoted…even when Arthur had done this to him.

“Have as many as you like.”

“How generous of you _Sire,_ you should get enchanted more often”, Merlin sarcastically replied.

Arthur cringed a bit and Merlin realized maybe this was not the best thing to say.

“Merlin, you should have stopped me. If something like this ever happens again, if you are ever at risk, I want you to defend yourself, even if it's against me. I’ll teach you how to.”

“I couldn’t hurt you, Arthur.”

Arthur looked at Merlin, his Merlin, and the thought that he had pushed away many times came again. But, this time, it lingered.

_I love you, Merlin._

“Or I, you Merlin. Or I, you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! So how did I do? I had so much fun writing this chapter!! I really hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, please let me know what you think. Also, please let me know if you think you would like to see some more writing from me as I really enjoyed doing this. Stay safe everyone!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Please review and let me know what you think. I'll update very soon.


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